See Mazula, I don’t mind helpin’ friends. In fact, as a friend myself, I have a particularly strong investment in the concept. So when Frenchie comes along and says that he has a buddy that needs a little help, I think to myself, ‘Hey, here is a networking opportunity!’ and I was happy to help him. Then we meets the guy, Tony, a well set up troll doin’ mechanics and such who is happy to let the beer flow. Thinkin’ to myself, ‘Can it get any better?’.
“Find my kid and get her home safe.” he says. No biggie, she’s like 16, how much trouble can a teen get into? Forgot that I was a teen just 8 years ago. Should have thought harder. (Used to be so much smarter, before the change. Used to be a lot weaker too, and ugly, so hey, life ain’t that bad.)
HEY – WAKE UP chummer! Seriously Mazula, if you can’t work 3-12s and then drink after, what kinda soldier were you? I mean, seriously …
Anyway, we do some diggin’ and find the new gang the girl is hangin’ with is screwin’ with the old gang the girl was hangin’ with. Dig a little more and then we discover where the newbies are holed up and we decide to pay them a visit to get the girl. Get to this old junk yard, send in Hirito, all quiet and sneaky like. Three minutes later there comes the whole gang, stompin’ and carryin’ on about what they are gonna do to the other dumb gang and such. We sees the chance and search the joint and Frenchie gets their old computer runnin’ and it turns out that the little witch has joined the other team! Un-drecking-believable! So now we know the score, Clarissa has decided to try to get revenge for that beetle junkie singer by having gang 1 wipe out gang 2. Only we all have this sinkin’ feelin’ in our guts that she was just smart enough to get caught.
Well we bust hump, let me tell you to the safe house where gang 1 lives and sure enough, gang 2 is goin’ at it with them. Frenchie, the miserable little capon (french for ugly chicken), drives right up to the front door and I leap out. Actually, pretty cool too, I leaped out and through the heavily barred and reinforced security door. Blew the thing right across the room. ‘Course, the room was full of stinkin’ yak gangers armed to the eyebrows with stuff and man did they let loose. I musta bin hit 20 – 30 times. Not a scratch but man does that many bullets ring a boy’s bell. They musta loaded with trank shots too cause next thing I know, I’m in Tony’s garage tryin’ to remember what happent after the coolest and most aggressive entrance ever. Beats chopper jumpin’ anyday, I’ll tell ya.
Long story short, cuz yer face is already lying in the soup, we gets the girl back and no harm done. Some stupid gangers got gacked, and I got tranked. Couplea days later, Tony ponies-up 12K for the afternoon, but I gave mine back. I mean hey, I got reminded of a couple of important things, and it only cost me some sleep. No more super cool entrances, pack gel rounds where ever I go (legal and stun knocks out even the largest trolls), and even gutter rats and lice can kill ya if there is enough of them. Lessons learned.
Sleep Maz, you suck as a drinkin’ partner. Yes, lady, the nice human will pay for everything. Just take it from his wallet.