Brought to you by: StarKaf – It’s not just soykaf, it’s StarKaf!
Budget Set for Early Release
Seattle Governor Kenneth Brackhaven has hinted that the ‘73 budget might be released early and that there will be more than a few perks for the average voter. Pointing to solid economic growth in 2071, and heightening consumer confidence in local corporations, the governor claimed that this year’s budget will be “The best on record”.
Opposition leaders are claiming that the governor is merely attempting to begin the vote buying process early in a ploy to boost his fading popularity over the family scandals earlier this year. Brackhaven scoffed at the claim, pointing out that the city’s tax revenue increased 0.2% last year despite the 0.1% tax cut given to middle income families. “We’re just helping to spread the good fortune around”, he added.
Officer and Bystanders Injured in Botched Robbery
A Lone Star patrol officer and several bystanders were injured during a robbery gone wrong in the Tacoma area yesterday afternoon. Officer Raymond DeVries stumbled upon the would-be bandits when he stepped into the First Tacoma Credit Union at South 15th and Broadway. The three masked men fired several shots, wounding DeVries and three bank customers before fleeing on foot.
The bandits are described as a troll and two orks, 9’3", 6’2" and 5’11" in height, respectively. All three were wearing balaclavas and brown leather jackets with no symbols. The troll is described as having a stunted left horn and the taller ork as having a pronounced french accent. The three are considered very dangerous and anyone spotting them should call the Lone Star Tips Line immediately. Authorities suspect that the three were under the influence of drugs, based on reports from Officer DeVries that they shook off injuries that would have dropped normal individuals of their metatype.
Factions Derail Festival Plans
Rival factions within the city’s Caribbean community have halted planning of the annual Festival Caribana celebration due to differences of opinion over the use of Voodoun symbolism. The Caribbean Community Council wants to remove all religious overtones from the festival, in order to make it accessible to a greater number of people. The Caribbean League of Seattle has condemned the idea, claiming such a move would destroy the entire point of having a cultural celebration.
Previous year’s festivals have been marred by violence between the two factions, each claiming to represent the city’s Caribbean community. Last year three people were killed in clashes between the two groups.
Superstar Announces Nuptuals
Seattle Mariners pitcher Mark Garibaldi announced this morning that he is engaged to long-time girlfriend and model Veronica Vashon . The news quells weeks of speculation triggered by a media report that Garibaldi had been meeting with Seattle diamond dealers last month. The couple have not yet set a wedding date, but Garibaldi quipped, “Not until the Mariners win the Series!”. Given the team’s performance last year, Ms Vashon may be waiting a long time.
The Vashon family declined official comment about the engagement, but ironically, an unnamed source quotes Veronica’s brother Gino as saying that the marriage, “Has as much chance of happening as the Mariners have of winning the Series”. The model has repeatedly spoken out against her family and its questionable behavior in the fashion industry.
Trid Star Caught in BTL Scandal
A media liaison from Lone Star’s Vice Division confirmed reports that trid star Markie Morris was arrested late last night and charged with possession and transportation of BTL chips. The arrest was part of a Seattle-wide crackdown on the illegal chips in the past few weeks.
Mr. Morris’ agent refused comment on the arrest, saying that the star would make a statement once his legal team had been assembled and consulted on the star’s options. Sources inside Lone Star suggest that a deal is being brokered to reduce the charges in exchange for Morris’ cooperation in tracking down the source of the chips.
Scientist Remains in Critical Condition
Toronto-based research scientist, Dr. Carrie McGrath, remains on life support in Boston’s Hawthorne-Sinai Medical Center following the explosion that destroyed her laboratory earlier this month. HSMC officials confirm that Dr. McGrath is in the facility’s STU to ensure her safety following the usual events since her near miraculous survival. McGrath has been moved three times over the past two weeks following a fire, riots and a near-fatal medication mistake at previous hospitals.
Dr. McGrath had announced a breakthrough in her research into HMHVV just days before the explosion that destroyed her lab. Three people were killed in the blast, and University of Toronto officials have confirmed that all of Dr. McGrath’s research notes were destroyed in the disaster. Her senior lab assistant, Aneel Singh, is still missing and wanted by authorities for questioning in the incident.